From the phone

My girlfriend Gen and I were talking about the crazy phone calls we get on a daily basis, here is what she shared with me.

RING RING.
Me: Hello!
Caller: Hi. I see on your pics that you have short hair.
Me: Indeed I do.
Caller: I don't like girls with short hair.
Me: OK.
Caller: So, you have short hair, right?
Me: Yes I do.
Caller: ...
Me: ...
Caller: I really don't like girls with short hair.
Me: So you said.
Caller: I would like to see you, but I'm only attracted to girls with long hair.
Me: Then I'm afraid I'm not the right girl for you.
Caller: Why don't you want to see me? Are you racist?
Me: Have a good day. CLICK.

RING RING
Me: Hello!
Caller: Can I speak to Genevieve please.
Me: Speaking.
Caller: Genevieve is not your real name, is it?
Me: Are you calling to make an appointment?
Caller: Yes, but I need to know that I can trust you to be intimate with you. And I can't trust you if I don't know your real name.
Me: I'm afraid that's not how it works Sir. Genevieve is my working name, and that's all you need to know.
Caller: Can I call you Sarah instead?
Me: Why would you want to call me Sarah?
Caller: I don't like your name. I don't feel I can trust you if I call you Genevieve.
Me: I'm afraid we're not a good match then. Have a good day Sir.
Caller: I thought you were open minded Sarah.
Me: Sarah is. I'm not.
CLICK.

RING RING.
Me: Hello!
Caller: Hi Genevieve. John speaking.
Me: Hi John
Caller: I have a few questions
Me: Yes?
Caller: On your site, it says that you don't do greek, rimming or CIM.
Me: That's right, I don't.
Caller: Why?
Me: Because I choose not to.
Caller: Well, I won't make an appointment with you if you don't offer those things.
Me: OK.
Caller: So, you're going to do it for me?
Me: No.
Caller: But I won't see you if you don't do it.
Me: OK
Caller: What do you mean "OK"?
Me: I mean I'm OK with not making an appointment with you.
Caller: Well with that attitude, you're not going to get my business.
Me: OK.
Caller: What are you ready to do to get my business?
Me: Nothing.
Caller: I'm not seeing you then.
Me: OK
CLICK

RING RING
Me: Hello!
Caller: Hi Genevieve. I want to make love to you.
Me: You want to make an appointment with me?
Caller: No no. I don't want to pay you. I want to make real love to you.
Me: I don't make love with strangers. I do fuck for money though.
Caller: But I don't want to pay you. That would feel like I'm having sex with a prostitute.
Me: I am a prostitute.
Caller: But you don't have to. I can make love to you as much as you want. I don't have to pay you.
Me: I'm afraid you do have to pay me to fuck me.
Caller: But I don't want to fuck you. I want to make love to you.
Me: OK. You still have to pay me for that.
Caller: But I don't want to. It wouldn't feel right to pay you.
Me: It would feel right to me.
Caller: But wouldn't that make you feel like a prostitute.
Me: I am a prostitute.
Caller: Oh. I don't want to make love to a prostitute.
Me: Shame. I guess you won't make love to me then.
Caller: Well, I could try to pretend you're not a prostitute. I can try to make love to you.
Me: That's very nice of you, but I'll pass.
Caller: Really? Well, call me if you change your mind.
Me: Will do.
CLICK.

How about my latest

RING RING
Me: Hello!
Caller: What time are you open?
Me: pardon?
Caller: What time do you open?
Me: Sir, unlike the Quickie Mart i don't have regular business hours nor am I open 24/7!
Caller: OK! what time are you open till?
Me: Sir, I book by appointment only
Caller: so should I just call when I want to book an appointment?
Me: YES!
CLICK